There’s nothing worse than wedging through love-blind couples blocking classroom doorways and avoiding passionate make-out sessions in the Commons–– don’t forget those uncomfortable lovers who drift through the blue hallway together.

Since homecoming, PDA between couples has become a disturbing and unfortunate sight and the student body begs for the end of it.

This showing of affection all started within the three hour time span of the homecoming dance. There was a record-breaking amount of new relationships blossoming that night.

The following week, the hallways started turning into PDA central. Couples appeared everywhere, creating several awkward moments for students who pass by passionate makeouts.

Students try to avoid them by walking quickly, avoiding all eye contact and pretending the couples don’t exist. But then the awkwardness starts when the couples begins their vomit-inducing banter. “I love you!” the guy whispers; the girl giggles back, “no, I love you more!” (eye roll) It doesn’t get any worse than that.

The question becomes, how does one avoid this awkwardness?

Usually the buddy system works best; helping couples stop and realize the embarrassment they just caused. It’s a casual way to say, “hey, get a room.”

Then comes the annoying couples who walk together. They slowly walk side by side, loving each other’s presence and giggling even though no one said anything funny.

As they approach the doorway, they realize it’s time to separate for an entire 50 minutes, which,  judging by their reaction, is a millennium. Without realization, they block the entire classroom door. Here’s  a smart idea. If couples moved just a few inches to the side, maybe students wouldn’t be so frustrated waiting for them  to have their “Notebook moment” in order to enter the classroom. So next time there’s an incident, just casually scoot them  away from the doorway;  it’s likely they won’t even notice.

But then comes the most unfortunate experience yet, when a student’s locker happens to be next to someone in a “serious” relationship. (This is right up there with burnt school cookies and windowless classrooms.) Student stands in frustration while the couple completely blocks their locker. They debate whether to say “excuse me” or wait patiently and risk a tardy. It’s a tough choice.

Most students take the risk of pushing their way through until they finally reach their lock. But sometimes that can result in the student being emerged in the couple’s passionate make-out session.  Let’s  face it, the only possible solution to this one  is to pray everyone’s locker magically switches.  Good luck.

Frankly, there’s just too much x and y chromosome merging in this school and all this joined-at-the-hip passion from these Romeos and Juliets is too much to handle.

So to all those PDA-ers out there: best of luck with the whole relationship thing, but try to keep away from my locker. Please and thank you.

(I would like to clarify that this is not biased due to the fact I’m not in a relationship, and I promise my lack of human contact with the male species does not affect the legitimacy of my  thoughts on PDA at school.)